Be mine, Valentine

I wish I could tell you "I really love you",

But come on, let's face it, that wouldn't be true.

For me, the fourteenth is about having sex,

So get to the doc for your STD checks.

As only when you've got the final all-clear,

Will I let your body and mine become near.

First, I lie down and you piss in my face,

Then you go for a dump - we'll soon need that space.

Don't talk to me; please don't ruin the moment.

I want you to sweat; I like when you're fragrant.

You push a vibrator up inside your bum;

It vibrates my cock in your cunt till we cum.

Perhaps this is not what you quite had in mind?

I guess maybe you're not my true Valentine.